I was pleased to read this blog post from Seth Godin, in which he explains that his mother was never much into Mother’s Day. He says, “anytime you do something because you’re supposed to, or because everyone else is doing it, it’s not worth as much. Flowers the week before or a nice poem the day after were priceless compared to the trudge to the restaurant on the appointed day.”
With that in mind, here’s a tribute from Lisa to her mother. A few days after Mother’s Day.
Margaret (Peg) Burnham was born the eldest in a soon to be family of six to Richard and Mary Hart. Born in St. Louis, Michigan on February 24, 1951, she attended a one room schoolhouse where she was the only girl in her class. When she was in 3rd grade, the family moved to Swartz Creek, MI where her father started the local grain elevator and her mother the local restaurant and ice cream shop. Having the family in small business taught Peg the importance of hard work, strong work ethic and family togetherness. Peg preferred being outside than inside working at the elevator and out on the family farm with her horses and dogs. Peg recalled once that her uncle said something that she took great pride in and is how she raised me, her only daughter: It’s a real woman who can work out on the farm and come inside and get cleaned up and look like a woman all in the same day.
In 1973, she married Lee Burnham and started their family; Lee II was born later that year, Lisa was born in 1977 and Dan in 1980. Peg was a stay at home mom for much of the children’s lives, but mom does not even begin to describe her position. She was a maid, cook, taxi driver, cheerleader, counselor, teacher, banker, leader, doctor, and law enforcement officer. Throughout my childhood, my mom never missed a school function, track meet, volleyball game, marching band competition, dance recital, choir concert, nothing. She was there through everything somehow stretching her time between all three kids even if it meant putting herself on hold for the time being.
As a stay at home mom, money was tight as a one income family. Somehow, she stretched it to provide the necessities for the family as well as classes, pets, and sports for all the kids. Even though money was tight, there was never any question that we would all go to college. Peg wanted all her children to make the most of themselves and encouraged them in any and every way she could to be the best person they could be.
Not only did she encourage her own children, she encouraged many other children. Peg was a 4-H leader to many other youth over the course of 14 years. There were many, many 4-H’ers who looked to Peg for guidance in project areas and life. She encouraged all of them to be the best they could be as well as getting them involved in other community service projects like visiting the elderly to brighten their day or planting flowers within the community. But, 4-Hers weren’t the only children who looked up to her as a guide. Many of her children’s friends called her mom. One giving her the compliment of how lucky her children were to have her as a mom for all she did for us.
Through it all and even now, she doesn’t consider herself a hero. However, I do. I look to her daily as an inspiration to mothering. And just hope to be half as good a mother and person as she was.
Irena Sendler died today. She is one of those largely unheard of heroes. She is someone who did something heroic on a massive scale and in an ongoing effort. She rescued 2,500 children from Nazi concentration camps and almost certain death.
For every one of those children she risked her life. Imagine risking your life 2,500 times. Imagine knowing something was wrong and acting against it every day despite overwhelming risk to yourself. She did that and then went on with her life as if it was no big deal.
Chuck sent me this link - I saw it mentioned somewhere earlier in the week too. A couple of girls rise above the softball game they were playing to remind everyone of the spirit of sports.
One of the key roles a hero plays in society is as an inspiration. Adidas has taken world class soccer players to the three smallest footballing nations in Europe to inspire a generation of kids. Watch the videos below and keep an eye out for Anderson, the youngest player, giving the sagest advice of the lot.
I saw Iron Man today and it was as good as everyone is saying. The script was tight with razor sharp wit, the action and special effects amazing, and Robert Downey Jr.’s performance was superb. The story was pure hero’s journey which is good because I promised the kids at Baker Middle School today that it would be.
There are some minor spoilers below if you haven’t seen the movie.
Tony Stark’s Mundane World was a casual life of luxury - he took it all for granted. His Call to Adventure came with a rocket attack on the military convoy he was in followed by imprisonment by a military force in Afghanistan. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ll know the next step is Crossing the Threshold. Tony Stark’s Threshold has a well-defined example of a Guardian.
Guardians come in two flavours. One tries to stop anyone entering the new world. Think of Cerberus in Greek myth who guarded the gates of Hades. The other type helps the hero, usually indirectly. Think Tom Bombadil in the Lord of the Rings. Both are there to ensure the hero is worthy of entering the new world. One poses a challenge, the other nurtures.
Tony Stark was imprisoned with Yinsen. Without knowing it, Stark was encountering the Threshold Guardian. Yinsen assisted Stark with his tasks while imprisoned and helped save his life. His greatest gift, though, was providing enlightenment to Tony Stark. He spoke to Stark of his legacy. He spoke about not wasting your life. And then he left Stark with the greatest lesson of all - self-sacrifice.
Today marks the beginning of a month-long effort to rally 1 million people to demand freedom in Burma. A large number of celebrities have lent their voices to this cause, starting with Will Ferrell today. Jim Carrey released a similar video last year. I’ve signed up as one of the million people and I encourage you to do the same.
Click here to watch the video and sign up to the cause (I can’t embed it here).
Click here to read more about Aung San Suu Kyi who is mentioned in Ferrell’s video.
Today is Yom HaZikaron laShoah ve-laGvura (יום הזיכרון לשואה ולגבורה) or Remembrance Day for the Holocaust and Heroism. It is a day of remembrance for the millions of Jews that died at the hand of Hitler’s war machine. Naturally I am drawn to the second part of the official name; the heroism.
World War II saw many acts of heroism that are hard to comprehend in today’s world. Some of the more amazing stories came from those under the yoke of Nazi Germany, in particular regarding the rescue of Jews. The State of Israel has a title bestowed to many of these heroes; Righteous Among the Nations. Included in that list are everyday people such as Irena Sendler, Oskar Schindler, and the people of Denmark. Also listed are diplomats who risked their lives in saving the lives of thousands of Jews. Raoul Wallenberg, Carl Lutz, and Constantin Karadja were active in Sweden, Hungary, and Romania respectively.
Give some thought today to those people who risked their lives to save those of others. Picture yourself in the same situation and consider what act you could make. By imaging yourself doing these heroic deeds you further develop your heroic imagination and will be better prepared in any situation that needs a hero.
This week I am presenting the Hero Workshop to two schools that are conducting anti-bullying weeks. Mill Creek Middle School in Dexter and Baker Middle School in Troy have each put together schedules starting today that are designed to improve the awareness (and thus lower the effectiveness) of bullying in their school communities.
Last week I saw a piece on ABC News about an anti-bullying bill waiting Senate approval in Florida. The bill aims to provide a set of “bare minimum” rules that every school would have to enforce. Currently schools are responsible for their own set of rules and guidelines. My concern with the piece on ABC News was that they seemed to equate bullying purely with physical beating. They naturally showed the recent footage of young girls beating another girl after some cyber taunts. This kind of depiction of bullying is a shame as it continues to allow the more subtle types of bullying to continue to be in the shadows.
safenetwork.com has a great page on bullying and the various types. The best part is the series of photos visualizing those types. You can see some of them along the side of this post. Their definition of bullying: bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. The behavior can be verbal, emotional, and physical. Their suggestion if you see someone being bullied: you should always try to stop it. If you do nothing, you’re saying that bullying is okay with you. The best way to help is probably to tell an adult. It’s always best to treat others the way you would like to be treated.
The idea that you approve bullying by doing nothing can be a strong message to students and it is one I plan to discuss this week. Jennifer Brooks has a post today on Zimbardo’s Lucifer Effect blog that has some ideas on that point. She has a quote from Desmond Tutu, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” How apt for describing the bystanders in bullying situations. And she quotes Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, “the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict.”
The article then goes on to discuss the idea of standing between two warring parties instead of choosing a side. Her example comes from Henri Dunant who helped create the Red Cross who stood between warring countries to serve the cause of the wounded. By standing in the middle, you can show independent thought - show that you understand both sides, but decline to demonize one or the other. Zoe Weil talked about this idea of avoiding black/white, yes/no, Christian/Muslim kinds of thought.
This second point is important for potential heroes in school as they may not feel comfortable choosing sides in bullying, rather simply wanting the inappropriate behaviour to stop. By being confident that the act of bullying is not okay, students can feel safe to intervene without fear of favouring on party over the other.
To beat bullying we need to:
recognize the myriad types of bullying: physical violence, social outcasting, cyber gossiping and intimidation, and name calling among others.
understand that doing nothing is equivalent to approving.
know that stepping in to stop the behaviour does not mean we have to choose a side.
You may know him from the Stanford Prison experiment. Maybe you used his “Psychology and Life” text book in college or saw his “Discovery Psychology” TV series on PBS. Or perhaps you’ve read his recent book, “The Lucifer Effect”. Now Phil Zimbardo needs you.
Dr. Philip Zimbardo, with a team of researchers, is beginning a new study concerning helpful behavior. The goal is to discover how individuals perceive the behavior of helpfulness.
The first step is to conduct a survey with as many participants as possible. That’s where you come in. The survey takes about 30 minutes and can be found at www.socialpsychresearch.org.
I’ve been part of the development of this survey. Zeno Franco and Kathy Blau, more so. So obviously I’d love it if you could complete the survey and make sure this study flies.
It is finally official that Guillermo del Toro will be directing “The Hobbit” and its sequel. This is great news for a lot of reasons. My favourite though is that the movie has a director that understands the hero’s journey. “The Hobbit” is subtitled “There and Back Again” for a reason. This passage is from the Wikipedia entry:
The Hobbit is set in a time “between the dawn of Faerie and the Dominion of Men,”[4] and follows the quest of home-loving Bilbo Baggins (the titular “Hobbit”) to win his share of the treasure guarded by the dragon, Smaug. His journey takes him from light-hearted, rural surroundings and into darker, deeper territory,[5] meeting various denizens of the Wilderland along the way. By accepting the disreputable, romantic, fey and adventurous side of his nature (the “Tookish” side) and utilizing both his wits and common sense during the quest, Bilbo develops a new level of maturity, competence and wisdom.[6]
And he returns home with that “new level of maturity, competence and wisdom” which is the entire point of the hero’s journey.
Del Toro showed us in “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Devil’s Backbone” his deep understanding of the quest and the steps required in the fairy tale hero’s journey. I can’t wait for this classic to come to the screen. I haven’t even mentioned Del Toro’s exquisite colours, and textures.
I’ve been visiting Mr. Fawcett’s 5th grade classroom at Barnard Elementary every Tuesday this month to trial the in classroom curriculum designed for teachers to use throughout the year. I’ve promised the kids some photos, so here they are. I’m still waiting on some permission sheets, so there may be more to come.
By the way, what do you think of the name “Heroes in the Classroom” for the curriculum? Or “A Class of Heroes”. I’m trying to figure one out. I’ve got my favourite Spanish artist committed to providing design work for the packaging too, so I’m excited.
I am watching the Champions League Semi Final between Liverpool and Chelsea. I am a Liverpool fan so take that for what you will, but I am stunned by the poor behaviour exhibited by a number of the Chelsea players. This is one of the biggest teams in the world and has many (millions) of young fans looking for examples of how to play the game.
Didier Drogba dives. He is well known as the man who gets “shot” by a phantom sniper during games. He falls to the ground looking for all the world to have been mortally wounded when TV replays show he has not been (or barely has been) touched.
John Terry is dirty. He kicks, elbows, punches whenever he can outside of the referees eyesight. This is the man who has been captain of the England team and is the captain of Chelsea. I watched him dig his knee into the back of Torres who had been knocked to the ground.
Ricardo Carvalho makes Terry look like an angel. I have watched him punch Torres in the back of the head, use his arm to deflect a ball, and elbow someone in the ribs.
While he hasn’t done it in this game, Steven Gerrard of Liverpool is building up a reputation as one of the top divers in the world. He was seen this past week falling to the ground with great acting when going past someone untouched.
This is the behaviour of the top (skilled and paid) players in the world. What behaviour should we expect from the young people in our neighbourhoods? What responsibility does the team have to curb these kinds of actions? Should we expect to deal with explaining to our kids why their sports stars are not to be emulated?
Some of the ridiculous antics of professional, adult, soccer players below.
I’m reading a book on sales because I have no idea how to sell this program I have. Really, I have no idea how to sell anything. That partially explains the lack of posts over the last week - I’ve been trying to improve myself.
This book, “How To Become A Rainmaker” by Jeffrey Fox, has a stack of short chapters with advice. Some of it has been very useful and some of it has been how to monetize what I’m offering for the customers - not so useful.
The reason I was spurred to blog about it though was the chapter, “Treat Everyone You Meet as a Potential Client”. In it, Fox suggests that you be nice to everyone. Just in case.
It’s a sad indictment of our society that people need to reminded to do this. That being nice is such a rarity that it differentiates those who are from the masses.
How many nice people do you know? What percentage is that of all the people you know?
Whitney Johnson (Dare to Dream) has posted a fantastic summary of all of her work on describing the importance of the hero’s journey of Psyche. Psyche’s story describes the journey in relation to women like few others do. Too often the best examples of the hero’s journey are men which can make embracing the idea difficult for women.
Click here to read Whitney’s summary and click the picture to see the artist, Mallika Sundaramurthy’s website.
I saw Iron Man today and it was as good as everyone is saying. The script was tight with razor sharp wit, the action and special effects amazing, and Robert Downey Jr.’s performance was superb. The story was pure hero’s journey which is good because I promised the kids at Baker Middle School today that it would be.
This week I am presenting the Hero Workshop to two schools that are conducting anti-bullying weeks. Mill Creek Middle School in Dexter and Baker Middle School in Troy have each put together schedules starting today that are designed to improve the awareness (and thus lower the effectiveness) of bullying in their school communities.
safenetwork.com
The article then goes on to discuss the idea of standing between two warring parties instead of choosing a side. Her example comes from Henri Dunant who helped create the Red Cross who stood between warring countries to serve the cause of the wounded. By standing in the middle, you can show independent thought - show that you understand both sides, but decline to demonize one or the other. 
You may know him from the Stanford Prison experiment. Maybe you used his “Psychology and Life” text book in college or saw his “Discovery Psychology” TV series on PBS. Or perhaps you’ve read his recent book, “The Lucifer Effect”. Now Phil Zimbardo needs you.
It is finally official that 
